Found this little gem on the NFL page and it reminded me of a funny moment in my life. Jared Allen has been a fantastic teammate of mine the last two years in Hawaii and it has been a pleasure spending a couple weeks around such a lifestyle. It’s also probably best for me that he lives 1000 miles away from me, as his mullet bravado is addictive.
Last February I sat with beer in hand around a second rate Hawaii hotel table celebrating a personal feat of nothingness in a NFC victory in the Pro Bowl. (I was the only player without a stat, well, I had 1 drop if that counts.) I couldn’t have been happier as I sat with the motley connection of Jared and my friends and family. We ate, drank and laughed, and while the night continued on, it seemed no one existed around us.
What we began to notice through the debauchery was that there was other people were around us and our party may have been somewhat of a show. Maybe not so much myself, but Jared seemed concerned with the onlookers. Before anyone could say anything a ketchup bottle had left Jared’s hand and was on a direct course to the adjacent table. This wasn’t your average paper plane like lob, the bottle, although a little wobbly, was on a line drive trajectory. Sooner than Jared’s movements caught the eye of anyone at the other table the red bottle drove into the back of the biggest guys head, shocking him forward and then to his feet.
Now in my opinion the struck man’s analysis of the situation was telling him it was best to sit back down as he quickly noticed Jared’s willingness to throw down worn directly on the back of his head. From that moment on I have never questioned the power of the mullet. Now as I watch the wild-man rope tying imaginary cows multiple times every Sunday I couldn’t have more respect for anyone else playing the game. Jared Allen is an awesome football player, one of the coolest guys I’ve hung out with and more importantly, he is a complete badass.
Alright, I've spent the last two days listening to never ending gripe about how terrible the Washington Redskins are. Our coaching is dreadful. Zorn is on the hot seat. Our play calling is outright awful. Anyone can call better red zone plays. Our team is a bunch of overpaid bums. Getting booed by a bunch of "dim-wits." And I don't even need to mention the way fans despise our ownership. IT'S ALL ********.
First of all we lost to an outstanding Giants team in New York. Bummer, yes, but not the end of the world. Secondly, we actually won the Rams game. A win for us is like a Van Gogh, it doesn't matter if it's pretty, it's having it. Now, of course it's obvious that we didn't score tons of points, but by no means were we terrible. We put together five different drives of over 10 plays. It doesn't matter who your playing, that's hard as hell to do in the NFL. We work our asses off and we can play!
With that little rant over I would like to add that we're fine as a team. I listened to DeAngelo Hall say we were gonna turn this thing around (assuming he means the team and keeping in mind were 1-1). Well, there is nothing to turn around - we just need to get a little bit better.
To lighten things up a little bit I figured it would be a great time to open the blog to 20 questions. Just ask them in the comments and I will pick what I think are the most interesting. As everyone knows I'm not gonna dodge anything so ask whatever you want, the more creative the better. Here are a couple successful examples.
- note - paragraph contains outside references and sarcasm. - thanks.
-One of the 20 questions was a celebrity offense. I looked no further than Clinton Portis to field this question. I think the pictures speak for themselves.
QB - Uncle Rico
FB - Mr. T. (Actually looks like our current fullback)
RB - Kung Fu Joe (Clinton choose him to fill his shoes)
TE - The Joker
WR - Forest Gump
WR - Sam Rockwell (Actually his character in The Green Mile)
T - Dewey CoxG - Shrek
C - Rambo
G - The Terminator
T - Hightower (From Police Academy and did play in the NFL)
-For a million dollars would you be willing to not have sex for a year (this is with or without a partner)? (If no, how about 10 million)?
I would have to turn down a million for the no sex thing (Christy would be pissed). Offer me ten million and Fred Davis might have a new job.
- Does it irritate players when a fan refers to his favorite team as "we"
"We" are the fan's team. That's why we are here playing football. I think it's great to have loyal fans that feel like we are their team. The only time guys get tired of the "we" thing is when fans tell us what we should and shouldn't be doing on the field. There is a reason that fans are fans. My job is to play tight end and yours is to cheer loud. To be the best "we" all gotta play our roles.
-7. Who would win in a tag team match between Chris and Christy and Tony Romo and Jessica Simpson?
The tag team match would start off with Christy and Jessica in the ring. Someone would come out of the stands with a cooler of beer and a couple of stools for Tony and I. We would proceed to sit ringside and high-five while clothes were furiously ripped off. In my world the match would end in Jes tapping out to a vicious choke hold, and I wouldn't be surprised if Christy dropped an elbow on her before she poured beer all over herself to celebrate.
And finally, don't forget to set your DVR for Sunday's game. With Dish, you can even set your DVR timer remotely. I use my iPhone. If you don't have Dish, you can sign up here.