In my weekly appearance on 106.7 The Fan with Chad Dukes and LaVar Arrington I made some comments regarding Tony Romo. “It's amazing, amazing to watch him choke like that … there's no way that Detroit is gonna drive on you that many times. The only way you're gonna give up that many points is turnovers, right? It was hilarious to watch him throw pick-sixes, too, back to back. I loved it.” The conversation then turned to a hypothetical cage match between Romo and myself, which I insinuated that I would win because of my wrestling background. And now, a joking, lighthearted situation, which in my opinion, has received 15 times the 15 minutes of fame it deserved, warrants my response.
In a league full of glad-handing and ass slapping between competing teams, I actually care about the organization and fan base that has supported me throughout my 8-year career. While I feel an honest respect for all NFL players, I show no remorse in cheering against another team, especially the Cowboys. If it sounded like I was delighted by Tony Romo’s failure last week, I was. Though I have no personal vendetta toward Romo, my feelings for him had nothing to do with me reveling in a divisional foe blowing the biggest 2nd half lead in the history of its proud franchise. Now before the rivalry-igniting defense of my comments, I would like to state a couple of facts:
In a new age where professional athletes can “engage” with their fans like never before, it has become evident that the NFL is an entertainment-based business. Though players earn their worth on the football field, there’s not a player in the league unfamiliar with the media. And as a player who has decided to share my real personality with the fan base, I make a clear choice with expressing my political incorrectness as an entertaining attempt to engage as a real person. I will not apologize if my sense of humor and hint of sarcasm is difficult to ascertain by the more serious NFL supporters. I will never make an apology to any offended Dallas fans and I expect every Redskin fan to cheer at the folly of a Cowboy.
That said, after seeing the frenzy of peevish Cowboy fan banter over the past 24 hours I have to say that the peculiar defense of “America's quarterback” has completely blown me away. From genius talking heads like Skip Bayless and former Maryland great Norman Esiason to the bible thumping twitter bullies, it's very clear that a cult like group of Dallas supporters has emerged to stand in defense of the epic Tony Romo. To them, my tongue-and-cheek opinions scream sacrilege and idiocy. It’s a funny thing, the way simple lighthearted banter can change gears so quickly, but that’s part of the amazing world of sports fanatics. You don’t want me to be boring, but as soon as I’m entertaining I’m crossing a line. You can’t have it both ways.
Finally, those of you that responded on Twitter, you made this easy. Your clumsy charm and the outpouring of the appalling tweets has inspired me to feed the fire of an NFL rivalry that seems in need the more flame. Thank you for caring so much. I genuinely appreciate you making me the number 1 Google search yesterday. I’d like to give a special thanks to those fans who want to choke me out, burn my house down and not only see me endure career ending injury, but break my neck and die. Clearly football is important to you, you are the people who make the NFL what it is!
I’m aware at this point, that I could choose the high road, but a little pettiness makes for much more fun. Plus, I’m assuming if you tweeted you wouldn’t mind a response. I would have loved to spend more time with more responses because it really was fun, but I just picked a couple. Oh and Skip Bayless, I didn’t forget you. I just haven’t decided if I should hoot and holler on air or take the time to write something nice for you. If you have an opinion either way let me know.
For those of you opposed to profanity, I suggest stopping here:
@Krimm9 Chris Cooley is an absolute joke. He is the most overrated player at his position in FB. He should laugh at his career stats, that is funny!
Yea I’m laughing. 427 catches, 4,704 yards, and 33 touchdowns. I’m on my hands and knees.
@kreutzbag303 @thecooleyzone what have you ever done in your career that gives you the right to talk **** to Romo. You're a bum. Fred Davis owns you.
Google me *****. Also, Fred Davis owns many nice things, but I am not one of them.
@youngnandobaby @thecooleyzone you talk so much **** yet you're garbage now. 2nd string TE struggling to get play time on a struggling offense. #JustRetire
“Shut your mouth. Sh-sh-shut your mouth. You’re just coming off stupid.” I simply referenced my happiness for the outcome of a game. That isn’t “talking ****.”
@thetrovester who TF is chris cooley to rip on anyone? how many rings does he have again? Asshole
Hypocritical statement, but I will flip it just for fun. @thetrovester Who TF are you and how many rings do you have? Genius…
@AhadSRaza I hope you shatter your patella doing ballet with Colt Brennan.
Ahad, I’m extremely concerned with how much my comments bothered you. This definitely wasn’t you most offensive comment and by no means your most idiotic, but I didn’t want to waste more time for the people reading this. Thanks to you I punched the code on my home security system for first time in a long time.
@courtneymahia I want to punch Chris Cooley in his face for slandering Romo like that.
Definition of slander: A malicious, false, and defamatory statement or report. I’m pretty sure slander wasn’t quite the route I choose but I like your fight. If you’re gonna be dumb, ya gotta be tough.
@zachbarton Have lost all my respect for Washington tight end @thecooleyzone. If you talk like a high school nothing that’s all you still are.
Zach, I’m guessing you got picked on a little bit in school. It’s ok, I’m sure you’re a real all-star now. Keep kickin’ ass buddy.
@chestos06 @thecooleyzone and if u are a real man, why challenge someone u out weigh by 40lbs. Be a man and go after Witten or DWare...chump!
Since your twitter picture is of a dog, I’m sure you’re not the worst person in the world. As far as the challenge, I currently weigh 232. The dude weighs 4 pounds less than me, Romo is listed at 228. The challenge seems fair to me. But in the world hypothetical cage matches, if I were “a real man” it probably wouldn’t be Witten I’d challenge; it’d be Brock Lesner.
@brad_hankins @thecooleyzone aka Chris Cooley is a little *****. I’d fight that goofy dick sucker right now if I saw him
Seriously Brad, I guarantee you wouldn’t. I literally lock down a guarantee. You sounded tough for your friends though. So that’s cool.
@mitchinwitchita if u spent more time practicing than runnin' ur mouth, maybe u wouldn't be on the bench. #66yds #washedup#loser
Not quite sure if you’ve watched any games, but I’m not quite on the bench. I may be on your fantasy bench and that does break my heart a little bit, although it makes me smile that you care enough about me to look up my stats and respond to me.
@yimdawg chris cooley is an asshole.
Simple and to the point, I like it. Many of my friends concur with this.
@srobinson3708 @thecooleyzone what? Are you crying again coozie?
Pretty sure I wasn’t crying. Did you hear what I said or did you just jump at the chance to throw “coozie,” around all willy-nilly on twitter? And I know you’re not looking for any advice, but Penthouse Forum isn’t a solid substitute for a good old thesaurus.
@A_PFL_Nigga CHRIS COOLEY IS A ***** ASS *****!!!
Wow! I thought “coozie” was getting thrown around willy-nilly.
@everlastingxxx You are not worthy to swallow Wittens ****.
I’m not quite sure what qualifications you need to become worthy? Explain what you had to do to acquire your status?
Ok, so you get it. The responses are getting more and more offensive and I will stop here. If you did send something I ensure you that I saw it. Thanks again and tomorrow should be fun Skippy.